T'was the night before christmas...
When all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Because the caps were installed on the chimney with care;
In hopes that the squirrels would stop living there.
The skunks were nestled all snug in their dens;
While visions of spraying your dogs danced in their heads.
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
So we booked an inspection to see what was the matter.
Away to the attic, the squirrel flew and dashed;
So we sealed up the roofline with aluminum flash.
Down the chimney, the squirrel came with a bound;
And with a wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Because I called Vanguard — I had nothing to dread;
James spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the bait stations; then turned with a jerk,
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”